jill-bird:

You see Spongebob,  It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.

jill-bird:

You see Spongebob,
It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.

glory-to-cobrastan:

come with me

and you’ll be

in a world

of image

youareawkward-ilikeyou:

why is no one around when my hair looks this good a biography by me 

jakeenglish:

eytancragg:

jakeenglish:

the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part

deal with it

darkness without light is an abyss

light without darkness is blinding

you cannot have a coin with one side.

yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie

thefluffyshrimp:

doctorattanowinchesterholmes:

jellybabiesandjammiedodgers:

apathbetweenthestars:

Source

brb drowning myself in the toilet

I once had a customer ask me how many pieces come in a six piece mozzarella stick. Then another ask me what kind of cheese comes in the mozzarella sticks.

I once had a customer at Starbucks ask me to put “less water” in her latte. I told her that lattes don’t have water in them, but that I could maybe add an extra shot of expresso or put the drink in a smaller cup with less milk. She got angry and shouted “I JUST want a latte with less water! Don’t make it so complicated.” She then promptly went home and called my manager to tell him that I had been “yelling at and arguing with her.” Thank goodness I had a witness there who backed me up and told my boss she was crazy. :-/

fjordism:

AARON PAUL JUST POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I’M SHITTING

saddeer:

zkac:

what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

i hate this i hate u 

givemeinternet:

In honor of the two conflicting holidays

givemeinternet:

In honor of the two conflicting holidays

ampersandsblog:

subbysal:

badjade:

image

image

image

no

image

image

detainable:

IT’S GIRL SCOUT COOKIES SEASON TURN UP

vaginalistic:

attempting to hide your desperate need for breath after a short flight of stairs

sleepvevo:

what was the reasoning behind this

sleepvevo:

what was the reasoning behind this

teamfreesnuggles:

 (via schmergo)

enchantinglythemes
CREDIT