You see Spongebob,
It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.
come with me
and you’ll be
in a world
why is no one around when my hair looks this good a biography by me
the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part
deal with it
darkness without light is an abyss
light without darkness is blinding
you cannot have a coin with one side.
yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie
brb drowning myself in the toilet
I once had a customer ask me how many pieces come in a six piece mozzarella stick. Then another ask me what kind of cheese comes in the mozzarella sticks.
I once had a customer at Starbucks ask me to put “less water” in her latte. I told her that lattes don’t have water in them, but that I could maybe add an extra shot of expresso or put the drink in a smaller cup with less milk. She got angry and shouted “I JUST want a latte with less water! Don’t make it so complicated.” She then promptly went home and called my manager to tell him that I had been “yelling at and arguing with her.” Thank goodness I had a witness there who backed me up and told my boss she was crazy. :-/
AARON PAUL JUST POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I’M SHITTING
what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?
i hate this i hate u
In honor of the two conflicting holidays
IT’S GIRL SCOUT COOKIES SEASON TURN UP
attempting to hide your desperate need for breath after a short flight of stairs
what was the reasoning behind this